EGM Pick - Silverado (1985)

Movie: Siverado
Release: 1985
Director: Lawrence Kasdan
Actors: Kevin Kline, Scott Glenn, Kevin Costner, Danny Glover, Thomas Brown



I know. This movie is over 20 years old! OMG! But, this is a truly magnificent movie made by one of my favorite writer/directors, Larry Kasdan. Oh yes, you know his work. Raiders of the Lost Ark, Empire Srikes Back, Return of the Jedi, The Big Chill, and many more. Oh yes, this is a truly amazing film with stars galore. Although it might surprise you, most of these stars were not really stars at the time, but lets take a look. Kevin Kline, Scott Glenn, Kevin Costner, Danny Glover, Brian Dennehy, Rosanna Arquette, Jeff Goldblum, Linda Hunt, John Cleese, Jeff Fahey, and Thomas Brown(who?, just wait, you'll see) among others. That is quite an impressive cast and they deliver a fantastic western.

So, the story is surprisingly complex and rich for a western in that it ties together many separate streams into a single storyline. Paden (Kline) is a former bad boy trying to go on the straight and narrow. Emmett (Glenn) is just out of jail for murder and trying to start over. Jake (Costner) is Emmett's brother and a wild and boistrous cowboy with a penchant for trouble. Malachi (Glover) is an old Chicago slaughterhouse hand trying to come home to help his parents with their farm. All their paths converge at Silverado when they each find themselves embroiled in trouble. Paden finds his old cronies are now the local law in Silverado right down to running the local gambling joint. Paden gets offerred a job there, but this puts him into the same camp as the corupt sheriff. Emmett comes home to find the son of the rancher he shot, McKendrick, is still around and looking for trouble. And Jake, well Jake manages to find trouble all on his own with the local brothel. And Mal finds that his family farm has been taken over by McKendrick, his mother is dead and his sister has become a hooker. All this boils over into a final showdown where good and evil face off. Exemplary.

I am leaving quite a bit out because this movie is really something you should watch and let unfold for yourself. It has the trademark Kasdan dialogue that is both meaningful, funny and plausible (for the most part). Characters get developed so well that you find that each is rich and different. There is depth and complexity that so many movies lack and that make this movie a true masterpiece.

OK, so who is Thomas Brown if you don't already know. Well, he is actually a friend of mine. He plays Augie, the young boy in the movie but you may also know him from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. A few years back, we worked on a movie together and I got to know him very well. I already loved this movie and when I found out he was in it, I was thrilled.

Rating: Excellent
IQ: 120 or better.
Originality: Superb!
Watchability: Everytime it comes on I watch this gem.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007) - No Secret that it Stinks!

Movie: National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Release: 2007
Director: Jon Turteltaub
Actors: Nicolas Cage, Diane Kruger, Justin Bartha, Jon Voight, Helen Mirren, Ed Harris

I saw this recently on a flight to and from Chicago. So, I had to sit through this stinker twice and even without audio its awful. Here's the gist. Benjamin Franklin Gates (Cage) is some sort of quasi-archaeologist who in the first movie, National Treasure, discovers some secret lost treasure of the Free Masons. And, yes, the name is stupid, but that is the only thing consistent in this movie franchise. In this movie, it's basically the same setup and along for the ride is girlfriend from the first romp, Abigail Chase (Kruger) and hapless sidekick Riley Poole (Bartha). And, to round out the cast, his dad, Patrick Henry Gates (Voight), does his best befuddled, old, professor ala Sean Connery in Last Crusade. And, of course, in only a few days, Gates and his buddies supposedly find treasure that has eluded other for centuries.

So, here's the story. Gates is now giving speeches about how wonderful a role his family has had in history and blah, blah, blah! Then, Mitch Wilkinson (Harris) shows up to spoil the day with evidence that supposedly links Gates' great-great grand daddy with the Lincoln assassination. And the only way to clear the Gates family name is to find the some secret treasure which coincidentally is what Wilkenson wants anyway. Confused? Yes, me too and we're only ten minutes into the movie. So, Gates employs his sidekick, Riley and his now ex-girl, Abigail to attempt to find this treasure. There's some needless car chases and shooting. However, we spend a few minutes in Paris and a few minutes in London and that's about it despite what the poster might suggest.

Of course, since this is a sequel, we've got to add more characters. And sadly, this time it's Gates' mom, Emily (Mirren) who for some reason (perhaps Voight's bad acting) hates her ex-husband. But, she's an expert on pre-Colombian artifacts. Now, I've heard 'pre-Colombian' in many different movies to refer to some sort of hokey, tribal magical non-sense but never has the person spouting this gibberish been less believable then Mirren in this role. It's probably the script and the director or the quality of the cast, but her acting is non-existant. Now, keep in mind that Helen Mirren is one of my favorite actresses. I've loved her since her I first saw her as Morgana in Excalibur (which would be much better to see then this dog). I even sat through Teaching Mrs. Tingle for Mirren which is saying a lot. But this movie is well below her standards and her character is laughably superficial.

However, getting back to the story, such as it is. There are so many holes in this movie that it would take me an entire website to deconstruct all the problems. So, lets just focus on a few obvious problems. First, the entire goal of this movie is that Gates is trying to clear his family's name. OK, why the big deal about whether or not someone 150 years ago was possibly involved in the assassination of Lincoln? Certainly not something that I'd worry to0 much about, but for the purpose of this film, it's the most important thing in the world. I don't buy it. Second, at some point Cage must kidnap the President of the United States. Yes, I know, completely unbelievable, but realism flew out the door in before the first movie finished. So, if the President is somehow kidnapped, how come it is so easy for Cage to get away? And how come it is so easy for everyone to suddenly forget that he did kidnap the President? Just not plausible. I could go on, but I'll stop with just this final point; the historical inaccuracies in this flick are almost as bad as the first movie.

So, what's with the Book of Secrets? Well, as I said earlier, Cage has to kidnap the President of the United States. Why? To find out where his book of secrets is which holds secrets passed down from President to President. I know, totally ridiculous, but this is the core of the movie title. Which is only slightly better then my version, National Treasure: Total Waste of Time.

Rating: Poor
IQ: Coma patients only!
Originality: It's Nick Cage, come on.
Watchability: Next time, I'll jump out of the plane!

Flyboys (2006) - WWI Pseudo-drama!

Movie: Flyboys
Release: 2006
Director: Tony Bill
Actors: James Franco, Jean Reno, Martin Henderson





Aha! Flyboys. What is this movie? Yes, I asked the same question. Apparently it came out in 2006 and quickly went the way of Paulie Shore. I saw it on a lazy Sunday afternoon on Showtime while my children slept. And because I'm a sick and twisted person, I realized that I had to see who would let James Franco star in another movie.

So, lets sum this up. This movie is about a bunch of Americans who go to France and fight for the French in WWI when America was still neutral (apparently the Clinton's aren't the first folks to keep their heads buried in the sand). If you're not familiar with this war, this is the one where Germans attempt to take over the world. No, not that one. In this one, everyone flies around in prop planes and jaunty little uniforms and the Germans have pointy hats. So, while this war is the backdrop for this movie, it's really about a cowboy who has decided to go to war despite the fact this his family farm is being foreclosed on back home? Huh? But wait, it gets better.

In a contrived scene (yes, I know, all of them are in this flick), our hero gets hurt in a plane crash. Not bad, just a scratch and he wakes up in a French brothel. And he's taken care of by the most beautiful and lovely girl in the place who just so happens to be only girl there who isn't a hooker! But wait, there's more. She's an orphan taking care of her brothers 3 children. The attempted and awful conversations between this orphan girl and Franco border on cruelty to the audience. However, this is the love portion of the story and if it sounds familiar, it's because it's been done before and never quite this poorly.

Back at the base, Jean Reno leads the troops and rogue American Cassidy (Henderson) plays the Ace veteran who counsels the rookie pilots. He's soo cooool! Oh, and yes, he has a lion for a pet? ("No, not a dog! Something tougher, meaner, cooler!" "Uh, like a lion?" YES!!) Anyway, we've got villian Germans (not Nazis) and digital dog fights and softcore violence and explosions and adventure, oh my.

I don't need to go on. This is an awful movie with predictable cliches and terrible acting. I've heard this movie referreed to as pro-War. I don't see how. But hey, whatever floats your liberal boat.

Rating: Poor
IQ: 80 or Below or in a heavy coma.
Originality: Franco is in danger of an overdose of cliche!
Watchability: Never again if you can help it, painful.