Release: 2006
Director: Tony Bill
Actors: James Franco, Jean Reno, Martin Henderson
Aha! Flyboys. What is this movie? Yes, I asked the same question. Apparently it came out in 2006 and quickly went the way of Paulie Shore. I saw it on a lazy Sunday afternoon on Showtime while my children slept. And because I'm a sick and twisted person, I realized that I had to see who would let James Franco star in another movie.
So, lets sum this up. This movie is about a bunch of Americans who go to France and fight for the French in WWI when America was still neutral (apparently the Clinton's aren't the first folks to keep their heads buried in the sand). If you're not familiar with this war, this is the one where Germans attempt to take over the world. No, not that one. In this one, everyone flies around in prop planes and jaunty little uniforms and the Germans have pointy hats. So, while this war is the backdrop for this movie, it's really about a cowboy who has decided to go to war despite the fact this his family farm is being foreclosed on back home? Huh? But wait, it gets better.
In a contrived scene (yes, I know, all of them are in this flick), our hero gets hurt in a plane crash. Not bad, just a scratch and he wakes up in a French brothel. And he's taken care of by the most beautiful and lovely girl in the place who just so happens to be only girl there who isn't a hooker! But wait, there's more. She's an orphan taking care of her brothers 3 children. The attempted and awful conversations between this orphan girl and Franco border on cruelty to the audience. However, this is the love portion of the story and if it sounds familiar, it's because it's been done before and never quite this poorly.
Back at the base, Jean Reno leads the troops and rogue American Cassidy (Henderson) plays the Ace veteran who counsels the rookie pilots. He's soo cooool! Oh, and yes, he has a lion for a pet? ("No, not a dog! Something tougher, meaner, cooler!" "Uh, like a lion?" YES!!) Anyway, we've got villian Germans (not Nazis) and digital dog fights and softcore violence and explosions and adventure, oh my.
I don't need to go on. This is an awful movie with predictable cliches and terrible acting. I've heard this movie referreed to as pro-War. I don't see how. But hey, whatever floats your liberal boat.
Rating: Poor
IQ: 80 or Below or in a heavy coma.
Originality: Franco is in danger of an overdose of cliche!
Watchability: Never again if you can help it, painful.
3 comments:
Brilliant, my pet. Its about time you got back to writing.
LOL, I'll be sure not to see this movie. I really like your writing :) .
Old post - had to look because "someone else actually WATCHED that movie??" - but you're seriously underestimating the ridiculousness of WWI here. The lion mascots are probably the most historically accurate bit.
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